“There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.”…Mark Twain
If there is anything that remains constant in the world of advertising or sales it’s this:
Spin the stats in any way shape or form so that if you want to lie (or need to lie), you can always point to the stats with a shrug of the shoulders when called on the rug. Then without flinching recite the line…“Well that’s how I interpreted them. Not like I lied about it.”
For me the most enjoyable aspect I get out of so-called “Guru’s” in the social media world is how they loved to shout from the rooftops the value of the web because it is an absolute correlating, number crunching, real-time data machine. You knew exactly to the person whom looked, bought, and more. They shouted lines resembling. “Forget all that radio, and TV stuff. How do you know who actually bought?” to now you hear, “Oh well you or we can’t give exact figures. It’s about getting in front of the eyeballs!” I am nearly brought to tears from laughing so hard many times. I have some standing on this matter because I was an actual Sales Manager for a radio cluster station years ago. So when I say I know the lines used for data or statistical manipulation. Trust me, I know. (Be warned I always like to point out that when a media sales person says “Trust me” be on guard. Just saying.)
So as a followup to my FTWSIJDGIGT article on my web presence I present without further ado what we found when doing some research. Of course like always yours truly is the sacrificial ego. So when I was alerted that if I just change the criteria a bit I could get more favorable results I shrugged it off. Of course I knew this but who’s kidding who in the end. But curious I said: “Show me.”
As we all know if you put parenthesis i.e. ” ” around your search term you’ll only get results with that term or name in it.(or at least most) So how much higher could I get my claim of nearly a million “impressions” higher? 10%-20%-50%-100%? How about this much:
I was so impressed I ran down to my favorite coffee house an ordered my usual triple espresso. When I was asked to pay I stated: “Hey, don’t you know who I am?” When she replied no I thought I would impress her with my new found fame. Didn’t work she still wanted cash. (The nerve!) Then I suggested an alternative, “How about some “Likes” from articles of mine I’ve seen on Facebook®?” Nope, she said not acceptable. Then I said, “Having that many hits on the internet must be worth something? I mean c’mon I’m closing in on 4 BILLION!” Undeterred she stated rather calmly that pictures of cats frequently get exponentially more.
So I said,”Well then I guess I it really doesn’t matter squat. I guess I’ll never get a freebie.” To which she replied:
“Hey, who knows. Maybe if you ever get recognized on LOLcats(dot com) you really will have hit the big time.”
Good thing I have a habit of keeping change in the ashtray of my car. Or this could have gotten far more embarrassing than it already was.
© 2012 Mark St.Cyr